Conservative Christmas Quotables

A collection of conservative wit and humor, Conservative Christmas Quotables captures the best of The Christmas Virtues and delivers it in a pint-sized package. You’ll be sure to laugh along with the snark of P. J. O’ Rourke, Christopher Buckley, Jonah Goldberg, and others as they dish out the best bits of the holiday season.

But you’ll also be sure to pause. Conservative Christmas Quotables brings us back to a time when Christ was still part of Christmas, and when family—holy and otherwise—was at the heart of the holiday.

Conservative Christmas Quotables makes a great stocking stuffer for anyone who needs a laugh—or a break—this holiday season.

“Stop undoing Christmas! Don’t you support Santa? And baby Jesus? You’re just going to take Him down? Stuff Him in a box? He gave us His life, Mom. His life!”
—Stephen F. Hayes’s daughter, protesting the Christmas clean-up

“The whole point of Christmas is not to have arguments. That’s what Thanksgiving dinner is for.”
—Jonah Goldberg

“The joy of children running downstairs in their pajamas is the greatest gift Mom and Dad could ever want.”
—Larry Miller

“These days, shopping has become a contact sport.”
—Heather Wilhelm

“Once you surrender to the madness, families tend to be fun as hell. The weirder, the better.”
—Matt Labash

“Assembler most diligent,
Locator of Part 7b,
Repairer of Part 45c,
Provider of socket head screw,
And of (@#$%-ing)hex key.”
—Christopher Buckley’s prayer to Joseph, patron saint of fathers

“When a sale at Crate & Barrel gets entangled with the birth of Jesus, something has gone terribly wrong.”
—Kirsten Powers

“On Christmas, you show up to honor the Holy Family while rolling your eyes at your own.”
—Jonathan V. Last